Had there not been a calendar by my desk, I would have sworn I was the victim of an elaborate April Fool’s joke the other night.
Alas, it wasn’t the first of April, t'was the second.
Around 10:30pm I finished installing a new copy of Microsoft Windows XP Professional on a computer I had built and was planning to deliver to a customer the next day. I’ve done this at least a hundred times before with nary a problem. As usual, everything had gone without a hitch. Once Windows booted for the first time, I installed the video, sound and Ethernet card drivers and prepared to activate the operating system. Now able to go online, I installed an anti-virus program before doing anything else and then clicked on the reminder balloon on the task bar to initiate the activation process.
Once I selected internet activation I waited for the usual “thank you” message. Not this time. I was informed that my copy of Windows could not be activated and I had to call a Microsoft representative. I tried again, thinking that I may have made a typo – still no good. I called the provided toll-free number and began to tell the nice cyber lady that I wished to speak in English and that indeed, I wanted to activate a copy of Windows XP. Cyber lady then asked me to read off a string of 54 (!) numbers in order to allow her to decide whether or not my copy was legitimate.
Much to my chagrin, she came back after asking me to wait a moment, only to tell me that she could not help and that I would have to wait to speak with a human. I waited five minutes and a nice chap came on the phone to tell me that the activation system was down and I would have to try again in half an hour. Considering that it was late at night, this news was mildly irritating but I was almost done so I decided not to get aggravated and would call back after 11.
Approximately 40 minutes later I called again. Unfortunately, I was unable to figure out how to bypass this android-like being and had to read off those 54 numbers before being told that my submission was invalid. Cyber lady again denied my attempt to activate my copy of Windows. She told me I’d have to speak with a human a second time. The ring tone sounded different when it appeared that I would be connected with a representative. Sure enough, the voice that explained how important my call was to Microsoft had a distinct British accent! Six or seven minutes later, a kind old chap answered and confirmed that he was in the UK. As his US colleague told me, the activation system was down and I would have to try again in 30 minutes. Mildly irritated I asked if he was sure because that was the same answer I had been given earlier. He answered in the affirmative.
I waited until after midnight Eastern Time to try again. I did my thing with Cyber lady and she denied my request a third time. On hold I went. I wondered who I would speak to this time. A short time went by and someone picked up the phone. This time I reached someone in India! He told me the same story about the activation system and told me I’d have to try again in an hour. Definitely aggravated I asked him if he was certain and would guarantee that if I waited until almost 1:15am Eastern Time I could activate my copy of Windows. He thought about it and said no – that ninety minutes would be a safer bet. I angrily thanked him and hung up. I went to bed.
A little over twenty-four hours after my first attempt to activate the software I paid for three days earlier, I tried a fourth time. Cyber lady denied me once again. I waited on hold for almost ten minutes and just when it sounded like someone was coming to help me, they picked up the phone and hung up!!! I know it was an accident but given what had been happening to me, I almost went into a state of apoplexy!
I took a moment or two to gather my thoughts and tried again a sixth time. I angrily fed my 54 number string to Cyber lady who still sounded quite cheerful. She denied my sixth attempt (surprise!) and forwarded my call to a human. A number of minutes later a man, once again working in India, answered. After asking me to recite my 54 numbers to him he started to grill me because there had been several attempts to activate this particular copy in the last day. I feared for my life at that point because I could just sense that he was waiting to tell me that I would not be allowed to activate my copy because of potential fraudulent intentions. I tried to blast him as gently as possible, explaining that the reason I had tried so many times to activate my precious copy of Windows XP Professional was because of their system being down, not because of my ineptitude.
It was almost 11:45pm and 25 hours after I first tried to do something that literally takes seconds to do, my copy of Microsoft Windows XP Professional was activated and ready to be used. I ran Windows Update to make sure those servers would accept requests for security updates and, finally, all was well.
I stomped into the bedroom and proclaimed that I would neither buy nor sell a Microsoft operating system again. My wife looked at me quizzically and asked if Microsoft was not, in essence, the only producer of mainstream operating systems. Indeed, they are. I’m calmer now. I understand that this was a one-time occurrence. I guess I am happy to see that it is not only end users who have trouble with Microsoft products. For a twenty-four hour period, Microsoft had a problem with Microsoft products. I smiled to myself and put myself to bed, satisfied to see a job well done, even if it was a day and a bit later!
